Obsessive disillusion and teenage confusion
We are living in each other’s lies and opinions,
With our subconscious excuses for happiness.
Questioning reality while suppressing insanity
Deathly dreams intruding the day’s omnipresent nightmare
Tossing and turning, all our organs are burning
Falling hard with cuts and bruises
When we were promised a soft landing
Looking and not seeing, living but barely breathing
Caught in the limbo between comfort and adulthood
Sleepless, lonely nights and unnecessary, lonely fights.
Patronised for knowing little, ignoring us trapped in the middle
A life of kaleidoscopic events, too quick to capture to understand
Learning that pain and lust are one emotion
And hoping that helps explain the commotion,
Of our hormone fuelled messes that leak into one another.
Growing up and inwards but falling down and outwards
Wondering what is the meaning of the word ‘forward’
Nineteen years old and sitting on life’s ledge
Waiting for the drop, to start again.
And dealing with all these;
Mirages and confusion
Lies and disillusion
Anticipation and disappointment
These internal wounds without ointment
By writing poetry at 4am, with a terrible rhyming scheme.