Turning Off The Light

As a child I slept with the door open,

Afraid of the dark,

I never wanted to be the one who turned off the light.


It amazes me how accustomed we can become,

The paradoxical comfort we can find,

In the thing we once most feared.


I caught a glimpse of my reflection one night

Blotchy face and puffy eyed,

I had to turn off the light and close the door.


In the dark I was calm

I found non-judgemental peace

Life just didn’t exist the in the same way.


I was less vulnerable.

I could not see myself

And neither could others.


He kissed me hard,

As our bodies tumbled and fumbled

He shut the door and I turned off the light.


I could not see myself

And neither could he.

I was less vulnerable.


Now I block my eyes, afraid of what I will see,

Of the person I might find in my reflection.

The light blinds me and I’m afraid to open new doors.


No longer afraid of the dark,

I now live in it too much.


I wish I hated it like I did as a child.




5 thoughts on “Turning Off The Light

  1. Although I’m twice your age no doubt, I do share in the raw emotions of this poem and how easily we can give ourselves away or have our innocence robbed by men.
    I have written a book called Polishing Jade that I think you might like.

    Liked by 1 person

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